When you have a child or children with a disability help is always needed and welcomed. One can’t help but have help envy of those that receive an abundance of help from family. When we are not awarded respite care from our Local Regional Services Authority, we pay out of pocket for help. Having three kids with autism, we typically don’t have that kind of disposable income sitting around. Our Family is small, my Mother lives an hour away, and my Mother and Father in law live in town. Both of our families have a difficult time watching the children, and can not do it that often.
It is hard not to drool when someone talks about having a date night weekly or having a whole weekend to relax. I had one Grandfather say that when they watch the children they also clean, cook, and do laundry! As he spoke I pictured little Disney animals helping, because that is how unbelievable this level of support is to me. I am thankful that my friends have support, but I have so much envy, like all of the envy. Trey and I have had one date night this year and it is May! The idea of every week is like a fantasy.
Marriage for everyone is hard, but when you add in children with Disabilities it becomes extremely hard. My Husband and I have had to fight to stay together, you can read more about our story here. I wonder if we would have even separated if we had more time together to be a real couple, not just caretakers and roommates. As often as we can we try to focus on us, stealing kisses in the kitchen, staying up an extra 20 minutes to talk even when I just want sleep, and he makes my coffee for me every morning. It’s the little things that help keep us together, but I am still super envious of those that are living high on the help hog! What about you, are you one with tons of help or are you one with the strong feelings of envy? Leave a comment to let me know.